I spent the first four years of my life on our family's 120-acre farm near the St. Lawrence River in Ontario, Canada. My grandfather purchased the old limestone house and acreage in 1920, then sold it in 1948 to my father. He was twenty-seven. I loved every aspect of the farm. The best part was standing up to my neck in our golden wheat fields and peering across the top as I watched the sunbeams and soft breezes wave through the grain. It always took me home–into the beyond. Here and there, all merged together. It felt magical.
I’m not sure when, but probably right after we left the farm and moved to Southern California, I stopped connecting to the beyond. That's when the veil settled in. Some might experience the veil as a wavy curtain or maybe a brick wall. For me, it was foggy and amorphous.
When I was twenty, I tried to remember my existence before coming to this world, but I could not get past the veil, what I called “the dullness.” I wanted it to leave but didn't know what to do. Finally, I gave up trying to get past it.
Eventually, I discovered that this dullness is a general human condition. People have known about it for thousands of years. It was there then, and it is still here now. The earliest reference I found on the subject was in “The Book of John” in The Secret Teachings of Jesus, Four Gnostic Gospels.
The dullness is not anyone's personal shortcoming and has nothing to do with intelligence. I was once told that it is actually there to keep us from wandering into spaces we have not earned or been invited into. It is there for our safety. Anyone who has had an experience, a knowing, founded in the beyond knows it is not permanent or solid. In fact, it is highly malleable. It can even disappear so that we have the experience of being in both places at the same time—non-form and form at the same time.
"What does it take to move through the dullness?"
Live being open, kind, soft, and deeply honest with yourself. Start anywhere—but begin.
Our culture has trained us to think that kindness, openness, softness, and deep honesty are weak qualities. That is far from the truth. They are potent. Become deeply rooted in them, and you will have earned the right to see and move in reality in ways distinct from how you now do. These qualities can definitely dissolve dullness.
Of course, there are pitfalls. When you make a mistake, just kindly and gently get up and keep moving. No self-recrimination.
Just know that it matters what we let ourselves get away with. It matters how clean we are inside. The big things are easy to see, like lashing out at someone or justifying our opinions. Pitfalls are also in all the tiny things, like the dishes sitting in the sink for two days and judging someone in your thinking. My biggie was self-importance.
It is our sacred duty to evolve.
This is not about being perfect. Our imperfections are one of the gifts given to us as human beings. Imperfections help us see where to evolve and how to evolve–to become better.
Living what you know is true might seem like too much work. The good news is that we do not have an endless number of things to clean up or change in ourselves—no one does. We just have to start being honest about what we have let ourselves get away with. Things will change, slowly at first. As we are more internally honest, our awareness will open. The fog will begin to lift. The veil, like a drape, will be pulled aside.
That’s when things get interesting.
Peace & Love,
Heather
DISCLAIMER:
Nothing I write is meant as personal advice, so please be discerning. Do not believe anything I write without first seeing if it is true for you. If it is, fine. If it isn’t, put it aside.
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